Why Men Don't Call After A Date - Was It Something You Said?
By Jamie Roberts
As he walks you to your door, you both stop short of the entranceway. He stares into your eyes and you're reminded of just how handsome he is. Smiling, he holds your hand and reaches for a kiss. What a perfect way to finish off a fantastic evening.
The date went well, and he definitely seemed to be into you. In fact, he couldn't keep his eyes off. You feel as though you've really connected with him and you're certain that this is the beginning of something special. Returning to his car, he tells you that he'll give you a call. You wave and smile; unaware of the fact that this is the last time you'll see him.
Of course, he won't phone the next day. That would seem a little desperate - and he certainly was not that. Two days pass - then a week. What's going on - why hasn't he called?
After two weeks, you realize that it's over. If you did have something special that night, it's gone. Playing things over in your head, you can't understand where you went wrong. How could you have misread the signals? Why would he mislead you and hurt you like that?
You contemplate calling him, but self-respect prevails.
Why didn't he call?
Here are some possible reasons:
He's insincere: Plain and simple - he is the type that can't show his feelings. He can put on a good show, but underneath he's thinking about how to get you into bed, or what the score of last night's game was. He probably has a lot of friends (that are at least as immature as he is) and a woman or two on the side. This guy has a lot on his plate and you don't take priority.
Fear of commitment - Maybe he sensed that things were going a little fast. Some people just can't get close to others. The biggest reason for this is the perceived loss of freedom. Although it's normally an issue after more than one date, he might have seen where things were headed and decided to end it before it even started.
You came off as desperate - Yes, even though you were laughing it up like a couple of kids during the date, and you thought things were going great, you might have been giving off desperation vibes. Laughing at all his jokes and agreeing with everything he said may not have been the best plan. But you only did that because you wanted to please him. Surely he could see that?
You were too serious. You could have said something that was misinterpreted (marriage, babies). Unfortunately, you'll probably never know. The best thing to do on a first date is to keep things light.
There is one positive about the whole experience, however. At least you spared yourself the pain of building a relationship; only to have it all eventually come crashing down.
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